india, Life

I knew what it was.. I swear  I did. I started this to write about my dream. Like right now, and I can’t remember it anymore!


On the bright side, I can safely say that no one died in this one. Yet. 



On me Knees II



Eventually party deux did show up; comprising of P and D. Now, some introduction is in order. P is a guy with a heart of gold and a rather fuel efficient car. D is an army child with an independent streak, with  a pressing need to take momentous decisions in seconds without wanting inconveniencing anyone. That ends up being an event in itself. This evening however, we had only one thing in mind; fine dining without having the money to pay for it.

We went to a malayalee restaurant, to which I have multiple connections, and had been meaning to visit for a while. Its owned by a friend of a friend of a friend. The same person happens to be the boyfriend of a junior a mine from college. I have also met this said person and he seemed like a nice guy. Plus, if you dont know, malayalee food blows minds, and your sweat glands. We were the first people to enter the place, and became a permanent fixture till closing time. In the three hours that elapsed, we ate many meats and made life changing claims about the food, ordered more till G (girl with money) came, and convinced a vegetarian colleague to meet us post dinner and buy us ice cream.  Finally, at 2330 hrs  we were done, and drove westwards to drop G, D, and Me (in that order).

Evening 0 minus n: The Jawaharlal Nehru University is a truly spectacular place. A bastion of the left, a shining beacon of political vibrancy, infamous amongst the Indian middle class, and with a bus filled with placard carrying students; it has it all. It also has a thriving wildlife. To me, JNU is good cheap food, a safe place for women in Delhi, and people with terrible time keeping abilities. Full Disclosure: I really wanted to go there for my  Masters, and will always regret not being able to make it.

Evening 0 : We drove in and reached G’s hostel. 15 minutes of random conversation later, the ‘old person’ in me declared that it was time to get back home and sleep. We were about to leave, when an old song came on the radio and we stopped the car. Almost on cue, G appeared back in the car, and then began an hour of nostalgia music.

Evening 0 minus 20 years:  The 90s was a special time in Indian history. The economic liberalization was in motion, and it transformed all aspects of life in the country for millions. The Indian baby boomers having done their deed in the preceding decade, were bringing up a family with a hope for a better future.  However, for the kids, it will be best remembered as the decade of

  1. Cassettes
  2. Television
  3. Cable TV
  4. Very very strange confectioneries
  5. That one friend with a video game console and a computer
  6. That one relative visiting from the Americas
  7. Innuendos in everything Bollywood did. EVERYTHING.


Evening 0: Needless to say, blasting music from the 90s in the middle of JNU at 12 in the morning is anything but normal. But blast music we did, burning through our data packs and phone batteries, pouring out collective nostalgia which kids from that decade can never divorce themselves from. Well, middle and upper middle class kids at any rate. It went on, becoming competitive, with everyone playing the ‘most nostalgic song ever!’. Concomitantly, there were comments about how subtly seductive these songs were. Well not Govinda songs. Never Govinda songs. But some definitely were.

The last song was a particularly appealing one. You take Raveena Tandon from the 90s with a seductive dance, in a gangster movie, and you cant go wrong. I shall share the video at the end of the post. Even though I have seen the video innumerable times, I consider it to be quite a masterpiece. It was P’s first time though. That was truly special. We watched it with the same joy we experienced upon discovering FTV, or the Internet.

Now imagine  this; you see a car parked outside a girl’s hostel, and you get suspicious. You approach the car to see a bunch of guys and girls, looking rather pleased and rocking to cheesy old songs. You shake your head and move on. Two hours later, you see three of them pushing the car while yelling at each other. Sooooo, apparently, we had left the battery in the car running during our party, draining it completely. After pushing the car with no success, we burst out laughing.  We laughed at the state we found ourselves in, the embarrassment of having to do it , the weird turns the entire evening had taken, how it was a work day in 6 hours!

It was google which saved the day with timely search results for ‘how to push start a car, please help google, we will die here and I cant die because I have appraisal tomorrow’.  No time was wasted once the car started, goodbyes were swift, and driving tempered with caution. I reached home at  0230 hrs, and passed out while thinking of a title for this post.

All I wanted to do was get lunch from the food court.



No cycling was done today. I watched ‘CitizenFour’ instead. It has sufficiently mindfucked me in ways I cant describe. All I can say is watch the movie.


The song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bV6eClc4ITc

How to push start a car:  http://www.wikihow.com/Push-Start-a-Car

On me knees


Evenings are nice. Everyone goes home, back to someone. Could be a child, a parent, a lover, or even a pet . You get to relax, unwind, and sometimes even violently fight another human being inside the comfort of your home, or in a bar. It makes philosophers of people as well. Evenings for me seem so well placed  that it almost makes a case for intelligent design. Well done creator. Good one!  Not for me though.
I have what can be best described as ‘fucking surreal’  evenings. While they seem to be in consonance with how a lot of my life is splattered with bizzare incidences, post sunset scenes just win it all.

Morning of Day 0: Say you begin your day in the most boring way possible :with a toothbrush. And say the lunch you are going to buy from a terribly overpriced food court is going to be the highlight of your day.

Evening 0: Cut to evening scene of me standing half naked in front of two doctors, holding my pants and looking uncertain about whether I should pay attention to the prognosis, or remedy my nudile state. Eventually the doctor suggested I wear my pants, since it was very awkward (and as an afterthought, added ’embarrassing also’). This and 1250 bucks later, I was told that it wasn’t possible to tell me what was wrong with my knees, and that I should watch a Salman Khan movie instead. We spent a very brief second lamenting the absence of any forthcoming bhai movies, and then proceeded to burn another 4 grand on blood tests and xrays.

Day 0 minus 1: An old friend is going to get married. As much as I love him and wish him well, I have always wondered how anyone  would ever be able to  deal with his constant state of motion, and exponentially large social commitments. Although, I have met his wife to be, and I think she may just manage fine. Besides, hostel is a different time, boys are boys, and he may just have less dissonance now.

Evening 0: Hospitals make me thirsty. Well, first they depress me and then they scare me. In the presence of a drinking place close by, it’s mostly thirst inducing. So I proceeded to the nearest bar for a quiet drink with another friend , waiting for my to-be-married-soon friend to show up for dinner.  All of  the maths in the world was employed to ensure quality time with both friends and perfect transition from one social situation to another. With zero overlaps. It was perfect.

To-be-married-soon friend  canned dinner. Two more friends from office announced that they would be coming to meet, and a whole new plan was born. The friend I was with displayed surprising alacrity in gulping down the drink and left. And then, I waited for party deux to arrive. As I stared at a guitar signed by Dave mustaine, I asked myself why I never picked up guitar in college? Fat fingers and no talent. Wondering stopped there. Sigh. (1/2)


Cycled distance :22.2kms
Time taken : 1 hr 21 mins
No excuses, it was a joy ride.